Killing Me - Rap Song

Kiilling Me

BY AHN

I am sad

I've been saying this since my 2016 me locked herself in a room it's empty, dark and lonely

There was no one there, but me, that's fortunate because when I threw something no one would ever hear it

Because when I killed myself no one will be looking for me because when I was happy no one will laugh along with me

I got my medicines on the table I have to hide it but I don't hide it because it's more painful when I try to hide it

It's my feelings why should I hide it?

It's my identity why should I hide it?

There is a room for me in an asylum so big but my parents won't take me because they think I'm sane and healthy yet I need treatment and I need therapy, be grateful I'm not killing myself because it's been in my head before the pandemic

Why is it so sad to have this illness

No energy for rage

I'm all wound up

Like some bullets

Staying in my body

It's painful

And it's so deep that the doctor can't take it

I'm trying

Trying to heal myself

By meeting a doctor, psychiatrist they call their self

But am I recovering?

I'm discovering

That I have to take these pills everyday until the day on my death bed

One pill at night and one pill in the morning when I wake up until I can't wake up, it's killing me

I just want to be

Happy with my dreams

I'm sad

That's great

This anxiety

Is better be killing me