Am I Being Irrational? (Part One)

"Mom, why am I always wrong?

Actually... I'm okay to be accused. It's just, when I try to fix things and I can't find the solution, or people aren't satisfied with what I've done, my mind goes blank and I don't know what to do."

Today, my psychologist gave me a homework to counter my irrational believe. We jumped to a conclusion that I always feel incapable about every thing. She asked me, "What if you're wrong BUT it's okay to be wrong?"
I listened to those words one by one, "It doesn't make any sense," I said.

I know it's gonna be painful to do this or, at least, uncomfortable, but we're going to do it today. But first, let's find out what are the example of irrational thoughts.

These are some 'unhealthy negative emotions' in REBT by Albert Ellis (1959) theory that can produce some irrational thoughts:

1. Anxiety
- Related with a THREAT or DANGER
- Overestimates probability of threat occurring
- Underestimate ability to cope with the threat
- Creates and even more negative threat in one's mind
- Has more task-irrelevant thoughts than in concern

2. Depression
- Related with LOSS (with implications for future) or FAILURE
- Sees only negative aspects of the loss or failure
- Thinks of other losses and failures that one has experienced
- Thinks one is unable to help self (helplessness)
- Only sees pain and blackness in the future (hopelessness)

3. Unhealthy Anger
- Related with FRUSTATION, GOAL OBSTRUCTION, SELF OR OTHER TRANSGRESSES PERSONAL RULE, and THREAT TO SELF-ESTEEM
- Overestimates the extent to which the other person acted deliberately
- Sees malicious intent in the motives of other
- Self seen as definitely right; other seen as definitely wrong
- Unable to see the other person's point of view
- Plots to exact revenge

4. Guilt
- Related with VIOLATION OF MORAL CODE (sin of comission), FAILURE TO LIVE UP TO MORAL CODE (sin of comission), and HURTS THE FEELINGS OF SIGNIFICANT OTHER
- Assumes that one has definitely committed the sin
- Assumes more personal responsibility than the situation warrants
- Assigns far less responsibility to others than is warranted
- Does not think of mitigating factors
- Does not put behaviour into overall context
- Thinks that one will receive retribution

5. Shame
- SOMETHING SHAMEFUL HAS BEEN REVEALED ABOUT SELF (or group with whom one identifies) BY SELF OR OTHERS, ACTING IN A WAY THAT FALLS VERY SHORT OF ONE'S DEAL, and OTHERS WILL LOOK DOWN ON OR SHUN SELF (or group with whom one identifies)
- Overestimates the 'shamefulness' of the information revealed
- Overestimates the likelihood that the judging group will notice or be interested in the information
- Overestimates the degree of disapproval self (or reference group) will receive
- Overestimates the length of time any disapproval will last

6. Hurt
- Related with OTHER THREAT SELF BADLY (self underserving)
- Overestimates the unfairness of the person's behaviour
- Other perceived as showing lack of care or as indifferent
- Self seen as alone, uncared for or misunderstood
- Tends to think of past 'hurts'
- Expects other to make the first move toward repairing relationship

7. Unhealthy Jealousy
- THREAT TO RELATIONSHIP WITH PARTNER FROM ANOTHER PERSON
- Tends to see threats to one's relationship when none really exists
- Thinks the loss of one's relationship is imminent
- Misconstrues one's partner's ordinary conversations as having romantci or sexual connotations
- Constructs visual images of partner's infidelity
- If partner admits to finding another attractive, believes that the other is seem as more attractive than self and that one's partner will leave self for this other person

8. Unhealthy Envy
- ANOTHER PERSON POSSESSES AND ENJOYS SOMETHING DESIRABLE THAT THE PERSON DOES NOT HAVE
- Tends to denigrate the value of the desired possession and/or the person who possesses it
- Tries to convince self that one is happy with one's possessions (although one is not)
- Thinks about how to acquire the desired possession regardless of its usefulness
- Thinks about how to deprive the other person of the desired possession
- Thinks about how to spoil or destroy the other's desired possession

Phew... That's all.

I think that one complex that I have is GUILT. That's one that I want to tackle. For this time, I think it's a good step which belief that I wanna focus on. That's it for now.